big boob cowgirl vol. 15
pass the cranberry sauce!
dear readers! this week we have an anecdote by ashlon, a mother, daughter story by hannah, and a sweet poem by stephanie!
Lady Macbeth but the blood is dirt from the train tracks by ashlon
“If I can do it in heels, you can do it!” she yelled to me from the other side of the train platform. Tears streaming down my cheeks, I look back across the tracks. She’s gone, she’s safe.
The woman next to me softly rubs my shoulder, “I see you’re crying, I’m shaking too. We can do this together.” I jump down onto the subway tracks. It’s further down than I thought. I’m scared I won’t be able to pull myself up on the other side. My hands are dirty. My phone is buzzing in my pocket. I’m so scared. Everyone’s yelling. More people are jumping onto the tracks after me.
Five minutes ago I was on my way to work, standing on the train. I was standing next to a woman and her son. There’s screaming. People are running towards us. The heeled hero runs past our train car. “What are you doing? There’s a man with a gun over there. Everyone get off the train.” Everyone’s yelling. People are running. I’m hiding behind a pillar. I text my boyfriend, “I’m on the train and there’s a guy with a gun not on my train.” I didn’t want to scare him too much, it wasn’t an emergency yet. He wasn’t on my train car, maybe the police will get here before he hurts anyone. I’m late to work now.
I got to the other side, pulled myself up, and waited for the woman behind me while she grabbed her things off the floor. My hands are dirty. I get on the train every day. I always try to sit next to or around other women. I do this to make myself feel safe.
I walk out of the train station and my boyfriend says he’s down the street. I’m safe. I can’t stop crying. I need to call my boss. My hands are dirty. I had just climbed out of the train tracks. I get in the car. I put my bags down. My hands are dirty. The police are still not here.
In an emergency as children we’re told to look for the police. There was an emergency. In this emergency I didn’t have to look for help. The women around me were giving information, guiding the chaos, and helping people to safety.
We drove home. I washed my hands. I’m safe now. My hands still feel dirty.
---
Happy thanksgiving! I am thankful for the wonderful people in my life who showed me love that day. Connor picking me up in literally minutes, Riley and Dani walking me to the train the next day, Hannah walking me home the next night and spending the night with me, my bosses giving me the day off without a question, my mom for texting me morning and night the next few days, and Sarah for listening to me be scared despite being across the country. Thank you also to the strangers I would’ve never spoken to that day, but who made me feel safe in a life-threatening situation.
Crying At Dinner by Hannah
EXT - Little Tony’s - NIGHT
Little Tony’s is a modest brick building, but elaborately decorated for Christmas (christmas trees, snow, lights, etc.) Outside stands a huge statue of a portly man twirling a black mustache while holding a giant meatball. Inside, the whole restaurant smells like tomatoes, yeast, and garlic buds roasted from pearly white into a deep brown.
INT - Little Tony’s - NIGHT
In the midst of the waiters milling around their tables, patrons chatting, and the clinking and steaming from the kitchen, APRIL HOUSER sits across from her mother, LYNN, in silence. April watches her mother attempt the day’s Wordle, finally successful on attempt #3 with “TACKY.”
April’s stomach rumbles quietly–right on que as their waiter approaches.
Waiter
Ladies, what’ll it be?
Lynn
We’ll do the Greek salad, no feta, extra olives, dressing
on the side, and…uh…two plates.
The waiter nods and leaves.
April
(stomach rumbling)
You made me skip lunch for this?
Lynn ignores her, turning back to her phone. April spots a slew of new text messages from someone named Kelly Ann.
April
Who’s Kelly Ann?
Lynn
My instructor at the studio. I told you about her, she’s teaching me reiki.
April
Right. I didn’t realize you were still doing that. How’s it going?
Lynn
I’m almost a Level 2. I take the exam next month, and if I pass
I can start teaching my own classes. I’ll tell you one thing,
I can out-teach the current Level 3 master we have now.
His name is Ricky–I’ve told you about him. I mean, the man is a mess.
He wears tights to the energy yoga sessions and we can
see his balls when he stretches.
The only man’s balls that I want to see are Mark’s, believe me.
April
That’s a lovely image, thanks.
Another text from Kelly Ann pings on her mother’s phone, and April clears her throat.
April
So, Mom, you said you had something to tell me?
Before Lynn can answer, the waiter appears back at their table. He places their salad, dry and sad looking, between them with two plates, then vanishes.
Lynn
Something has come up, and I wanted to tell you as soon as I could,
but you wouldn’t answer my calls.
You were obviously busy with your little friend.
April
(sighs)
Lauren is my wife, Mom.
Lynn
Right right, of course. Anyway, something
happened that I’ve been meaning to tell you. This past June, when
Mark and I went to Mexico, he surprised me. He had these beautiful
flowers arranged with candles in our hotel, and…well,
we entered a union together in the presence of God.
April
Wait, I’m sorry, you got married? In June?”
Lynn nods.
April
Jesus, Mom, it’s Christmas! Do Michelle and Davis know about this?
Lynn nods again.
April
Great.
Lynn
You wouldn’t answer your phone!
April stares at her, then rubs her temples.
April
Are you happy?
Lynn
I’ve never had a partner like Mark before.
He supports me and my dreams…he’s just the best.
That’s why…there’s something else I have to tell you.
April
Of course there is.
Lynn
After we entered our union with God, we also designated each
other as the executors of the other’s will. I knew that if anything
were to happen to me, I would want Mark to take
care of the house, the pets…I wanted to tell you so it isn’t a shock later.
April
I see. What about me? Michelle and Davis?
Lynn is silent.
April
What do you need a will for, exactly? The only asset you
have to your name is your $60,000 credit card debt.
Lynn
April, I know I’m not perfect. I just want you to be happy
for me. I’ve finally found someone who loves me…
doesn’t that count for something?
April stares at her mother, and despite all her willpower, she begins to sob. In her mind, she tries desperately to stop, but she just can’t. The tears feel like they are pouring out of her skull, and all she can do is let them come.
After a few moments of this, Lynn stands up and stands over April. As April cries, she begins moving her hands in large swirling motions around her daughter’s head, then begins making brushing motions all around her. She is surprisingly quite good at reiki.
Sniffling, April looks up and sees her mother performing reiki on her. She doesn’t say anything, just watches and dries her tears on the sleeve of her sweater.
Lynn
Feel better?
April
(small laugh)
Yeah.
Lynn kisses April’s head, then forehead, then cheek. Then she sits back down in her seat. Just then, the waiter comes back to the table.
Waiter
How is everything tasting?
April
Can we please get a twelve inch of the Original?
The waiter nods and leaves.
CUT TO:
INT - Little Tony’s - LATER
April and her mother are at their table, laughing. There are three pizza crusts on April’s plate and she’s going for a 4th slice, while Lynn stabs at her salad.
EXT - Little Tony’s - LATER
April waves from the sidewalk as her mother’s car drives off. She sighs and pulls out her cellphone, dials a number. She walks to her car and gets in.
April
Hey. I’m heading back.
Lauren
(O.S.)
Finally, I missed you. How’d it go?
April
It was…as you would expect. Which I guess is good, all things considered.
Lauren
(O.S.)
Is she still in that cult?
April
Yeah, unfortunately. She says she’s going to be a
Level 2 reiki master soon, whatever that means.
Lauren
(O.S.)
How do you become a reiki master?
April
She said she has to take an exam, and then after that
she’ll start teaching her own classes.
She even gave me one of her business cards.
April and Lauren both laugh as April looks through her purse.
April
Hold on, let me get it. She put some insane tag line below her picture.
April continues digging through her purse, then finally dumps the purse out onto her passenger seat. No business card.
Lauren
(O.S.)
Babe? Everything okay?
April
That bitch stole my wallet!
FADE OUT
to remember you, Nonita by Stephanie Pimiento
I love women!!!! TY all for weaving your stories into this illustrious tapestry.